The Cunning Linguist

January 15, 2012 - January 21, 2012

Who says pass fail is over? This first week back has been … well amazing.

I got back Sunday, after lunch with my parents and sister at Bua. After getting settled in and dinner, I walked to north to find Wabbit hurling into the bushes. It was 8 pm. I knew this night was going to be legendary. And surely enough, 40 minutes later, I was in the exact same position (both magnitude and velocity) as Leverett. Norf bought a keg; We started playing 28 cup live; Chris was too good; beer is too nasty. Several games of pong later, Gruver decides to show up (11:56 pm). Without even letting him put his bags in his room, we pulled him to Slouch and did a DMC, surely enough, he was on our level within minutes. Before the night was over, I finished my flask (thanks deanna!) with cazadores (thanks emily!).

Monday was a clean day of laziness and apprehension. Without pass/fail, I believe, I would be totally fucked. However, I was glad to be back.

Tuesday was the first day of classes. 935, Physics 24: Mechanics and Wave Motion. Easy peasy. No team sports. Lunch. Skyrim. 1315, CS 60: Principles of Computer Science. All I can say is… Fuck Racket. ((((Such a troll language.)))). I created a Brittany drinking game, Bruce drinking game, and a Norf frosh drinking game. It was Taylor’s birthday (also Gruver’s birthday hahahha), so we showered her and stuffed our faces with banana bread. Finished homework and 8 am class. Guess that means its time to binge. Andrew and Ryland bought the last Vitali from Slouch and we played pong. We finished the handle in less than an hour, and I emptied my flask again. Good day, no sleep. Blair decides to keep me up to help her with her critical thinking shit. :P

Wednesday was my first 8 am. Extremely unhappy. 4 hour block of classes, then HSA 10. Even more extreme unhappiness. The day was shitty, but this night was going to be the best of the week. It first begins with Alex and I finished programming Racket ((((the fucking bullshit of a language)))) and King Tyle decides that he wants a shot of soy milk and tequila. Of course, King Tyle gets his wish (because he’s king/jarl of the South). The gang decides that we are tired of regular shots, so we make our own. Green tea was … bearable. Peppermint explosion: great success. Nerds shots: even greater success. Swedish fish shots: tasty, with left over edibles. Nerds> Swedish Fish > Peppermint explosion > green tea > vanilla. While we were waiting for our nerd’s shots to cool, Gruver, Ben Corr, Andrew, Ryland, Kyle, and I decided to join Wednesday nighter as Team Peppermint Explosion. It was a scavenger hunt, and it started with “bring me a male with lipstick”. Almost immediately, Gruver decides to run toward the donut table and from the devious look on his face, I knew I wasn’t about to like his idea. He runs toward me and smashes the donut on my lips, effectively giving me a beard. I rush toward the judges and got our 3 points. There were other epic moments, such as Ben Corr running across Platt to get a student handbook. Unfortunately, Mary Van Fleet was too small and agile. Ben Corr launches the student handbook at Gruver from across the room and we beat Lady Narwhals by milliseconds. Another challenge was to get pink clothing. Kenny was wearing a pink Case shirt, and someone shouted “STRIP HIM”. The MC decides that whoever gets Kenny’s shirt would get 2 bonus points. I ran after him, but gave up because I’m a fatass. Several rounds later, Gruver returns wearing Kenny’s shirt. Emily asked “Where is Kenny?”, to which Gruver responded “that wasn’t part of the challenge”. After drawing Obama on a napkin, making King Tyle run to North for a spoon, stealing Emily’s socks, and other drunken adventures… We were in second with one challenge left, “find a condom”. Being prepared, I unabashedly excavated the single rubber placed in my wallet since sex ed several years ago. Award-winning condom. Unfortunately, squirrely Proctor Mary had to run to South to get a condom, putting them back in first. Disappointedly, we returned to Norf for our candy shots and slept soundly. Oh it was also Bruce’s birthday hahahahhahaha.

Thursday was a good day. Only mechanics because CS and PE were canceled. We finished our homework early and being alcoholics… well it was Thirsty Thursday. We took jelly bean shots (coconut, cream soda, and vanilla) with rum, which I dubbed homemade mailbu. I bought a 30 rack that day, and we decided to play pong. Case had its pass/fail party, during which the frosh got cute pillowCASES :D. Walked down to CMC to go to TNC because Bruce said we HAD to go. When we got there, we found out that it was CMC only, and Bruce tried to make himself feel better by thinking he could get “guest passes”. bhahahaha. Dray’s Place. The Galileo. I’m getting hungry just thinking about it. It was Ben Corr’s birthday. 

Friday, obviously was going to be a good day as well. Started the night off with an alcohol run for Ginfest, which we bought 30 handles from 2 different Vons, liqourama, and liquorland. (we bought out two Von’s and the liqourama). I got myself a handle of Smirnoff raspberry and Tanqueray. We then dressed up and went to Scripps. There was a party, VIP, at Pomona. It was decent, but I felt out of place, for I had not interacted with strangers in quite a while. I returned to Norf, finding all my friends and felt more at home amongst the flying pong balls, red cups, and blatant alcoholism. para-para… paradise. Dray’s place again. The Galileo. Delicious. Finished the cazardores and the 60 rack which we bought on Thursday. Yeah, the Norf frosh finish 60 in 2 days. Ridiculous.

Saturday was Ginfest. 1 pm - 1am. We had brunch at 12, got our first drink (I had gin and sprite), and started playing Starcraft for the CSL. UoP forfeited 2 of their games, letting us win 3-1. By dinner time (5pm) Baja had opened and I downed my Gin and Tonic before getting into the dining hall. Line Drinner with sushi was the best decision. We sang Mulan’s “i’ll make a man out of you” extremely loudly, with no shame. After dinner, we went back to baja, played drink, got a shot of baileys, downed another gin and tonic, and was up to double digits. by 9, Norf’s portion of Ginfest began, and we started the ginpong. I played with gruver, matt, basically everyone. My goal was to blackout, but after about 16 or so drinks, I could still move. Not until Taylor’s plants and Bombay Sapphire, was i incapacitated. I knocked out on fishbowl’s couch, where Andrew and Alice’s friend hooked up and Andrew threw up shortly after earlier that night. I woke at 8 AM and stumbled back to my room to find that I had sprained my ankle. 

Sunday. Work work work. Round 2 of the shittiest language in existence ((((not really but I really dislike it)))). Thanks to my beastly recursion, we pulled through 1 extra credit problem in 2 hours. Taylor and Neil’s birthday today :D.